How to make fair compromises in relationships for both of you

Spoiler alert, marriage is all about communication and compromise. Our society has made the word compromise seem like a bad thing, when in reality it can be incredibly healthy in all relationships. The key here is learning how to navigate compromise appropriately and fairly. Compromise is at it’s heart what is fair for all individuals involved but often we find ourselves getting the short end of the stick or hurting someone that we care about by either not setting appropriate boundaries or by having an ego and unwilling to compromise. So where to begin when learning how to make fair compromises?

Be honest and real with yourself first

One of the key’s to healthy relationships is being real with yourself first. You’re only going to continuously hurt others if you’re not capable of noticing your weaknesses and areas you need growth or knowing yourself well enough to be real. In the case of making a compromise on something, you’ll have to first come to the realization that you can’t be selfish and second know what is a non-negotiable for you. Ask yourself things like:

  1. What am I willing or not willing to do or let go of?
  2. Am I stating clearly what I’m asking for?
  3. Am I being selfish or being open to someone else’s needs?
  4. Have I put myself in their shoes and considered the issue from their perspective?
  5. Have I prayed about this issue?
  6. Am I being emotional or rational? (If you’re like me, this is a super hard one, I’m always emotional)

Active listening

When having conversations and especially conversations that are important, you have to practice active listening. This means actually hearing what the other person is saying. You have to put aside your own interests for the sake of actually hearing what someone else has to say and being able to engage in a conversation with them. A good definition of active listening is: “This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated.” It’s way easier said than done, but putting aside your own agenda and your own argument to actually hear and understand another person is a MAJOR benefit to a conversation. Sometimes you may even find that you’re actually in agreement with another person.

Come to the table with ideas

I once had a church leader tell me that they never wanted me to come to them with a problem that I had not already tried to solve myself. He said to always come to him with at least one option to resolve the issue before I came to him just to complain. Not only was this excellent leadership on his part, but also an excellent way to teach me (and others on our team) how to think for ourselves and problem solve on our own.

This works perfectly for making compromises and moving forward with a problem in your relationship too. If you come to the “table” with some ideas on exactly what you want in order to resolve the issue, more often than not you’re going to find a resolve way faster and more effectively. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a conflict with a loved one or close friend and when I gave them some ideas on how to fix our issue, it was almost instantly fixed and we could move on.

Make sure to keep in mind that these are just ideas, and the person you’re sharing them with may have ideas of their own. It’s important to be collaborative here and not just stick to your guns on your OWN thoughts. A relationship is about working together, and in many cases you’ll have to ease off of some things even if you think it’s the perfect answer.

Always be prayerful

You didn’t think we were leaving God out of this did you?? This should be the first one for sure, but I wanted to end here so this would be fresh in your mind. You must PRAY PRAY PRAY. Depending on the severity of the argument, issue or problem between you and a friend or loved one you’ll find that you have to pray harder or more specifically. Sometimes when we’re upset, our mental clarity just seems to disappear. It’s important to start with asking God to clear your mind first.

You first have to trust that God already knows the resolution here and you have to be willing to put your pride aside to ask that HIS will be done, and not your own. Truth is friend, that may end up being the opposite of what you’d like to happen, but you must know that God knows best. These are some of the hardest prayers you will ever pray, but absolutely some of the most important. Always remember that God loves you and has nothing but your best interest in mind and that He will never do anything to harm you. Compromising in relationships can be an incredible blessing and from personal experience I can testify that when I let God have total control, I have never even once regretted the outcome.

That’s all I have for you today friend. I pray that whatever relationship this applies to in your life that you will walk in boldness and knowing that God has your ultimate best outcome ahead of you. Relationships are so necessary to our overall well being but Lord knows they are some of the most challenging aspects of life. I pray today you’ll find peace in any tough situation or conversation and that you’ll grown stronger from any lesson learned.

XOXO,
Camille

Black Friday Deals

For the sake of making sure you have plenty of time to get all the great deals, I’m posting my Black Friday blog a little early. Here are some of my favorite items that have been on sale each and every year on Black Friday. Go ahead and add them to your cart so you can hit send asap on Black Friday.

Ninja Coffee Bar
Nick and I absolutely love our coffee bar. This one comes with a million options and including a built in frother. It’s a bit pricey normally but on Black Friday you’ll find this one on a great deal!

Artificial Christmas Tree
Don’t we all need a good fake Christmas tree? Don’t get me wrong, I love a real tree for what is represents and of course the amazing smell, I’m just more fond of not having to worry about watering it all the time or cleaning up needles from the floor constantly. So artificial is usually the way I go. Good quality tree’s can get pricey as well, but not today!!

Over the Knee Boots
Here’s another item that I absolutely loveee having multiple colors and styles of but never want to pay what retailers are asking for them. I usually wait until Black Friday to update my shoes and all of the options in the link above are amazing!

Air Fryer
I cannot say enough how much we love this thing! Nicks parent’s actually got this for us last Christmas and we’ve used it non-stop from the day we opened it. We’ve made some the best chicken wings, burgers, fish, blooming onions and even used the dehydrate function to dry herbs and make our own chicken jerky. I recommend this to literally everyone I speak to.

Instapot
Repeat everything above, but think more soups, chilis, pasta dishes that are all super easy to make and very fast.

Fitbit Versa
Fitbit updates their watches almost as frequently as a new iPhone comes out, which we all know is pretty annoying but here we are. I’ve gone through about 4 Fitbit generations at this point and this one has been my favorite so far. If you’re looking for something a little less busy as an iWatch but full of cool features, then this watch is for you. I also heavily rely on this to keep me motivated for working out, getting up throughout the day and even doing meditation and relaxation.

Bath & Body Works Hand Sanitizer
Can we all just say this is a given? I mean literally 2020’s “scent” is alcohol mixed with whatever fruity flavor you like (lol). However, these sanitizers have always been my favorite and I’ve always stocked up on Black Friday because the deals are always unmatched throughout the year. Hopefully this year they’ll have had time to stock up and they won’t run out too quickly.

Bath & Body Works Candles & Holders
I’m very much a seasonal candle person. I change out my candles pretty often and actually prefer to buy the 10oz candles so that I don’t tire out of one scent too quickly. I’ve recently purchased some of the scents above and this gorgeous holder that’s perfect for any season.

Holiday Dresses
I am the worst about not planning what I’m going to wear for all the Holiday parties until it’s too late and I’ve missed all the good deals. This year I’m changing that. I have basically every outfit planned with multiple options depending on the weather and what we actually end up doing. This link is what some of my favorite dresses are that are SURE to be on an amazing Black Friday sale (last year everything was 90% off).

Beauty Products
This link is all of my favorite beauty products that I stock up on every Black Friday. The IT Cosmetics Mascara is literally 2 for 1 and I only buy it once a year. It’s amazing and lasts the entire 6 months for one tube.

Outdoor Furniture and Decor
Until earlier this year I had no clue how expensive outdoor furniture was, and now I will only ever be ordering it when there are great sales. Fortunately we already had most of what we wanted/needed when we started sprucing up our yard but there are a few things that I’m also waiting for Black Friday to pick up. Black Friday is always a good time of the year to grab anything for the yard, especially because it’s typically off season.

HAPPY SHOPPING FRIENDS!!! Let me make clear, you don’t “need” any of this. I hate when influencers online make me almost feel bad about not getting the item they’re pushing. This post is only to benefit you if you’re looking for recommendations and all of these are totally my opinion and items that I’ve loved for a while or that I have my eye on myself.

Make sure you spend responsibly and have fun!!!

XOXO,
Camille

October Favorites

I’m sort of sad that this month is ending, October is my favorite month of all time. However, monthly favorites are probably my favorite blogs to write. I love sharing products that I’ve enjoyed with you all in hopes that you find things you love too!

Desktop/Laptop Riser
I obviously purchased this because working from home is a challenge on a laptop. We liked this one so much that we went back and purchased one for my husband as well!

Beanies
I found these super warm and cozy Carhartt beanies and they come in several really cute colors for fall. You’re probably going to want all of them eventually because they are all super cute. These are also unisex so you can buy one for the gals and guys in your life.

Just Peachy Eye Shadow Pallet
I’m such a stickler for wearing “summer” and “fall” traditional colors, all the way down to how I do my makeup. Every summer I’m hardcore “natural” makeup and every fall/winter I wear the browns, oranges and neutral tones. I just like having that clear difference in the seasons. This pallet one of my best friends bought me for a birthday and I found it last month and have had so much fun using it to make beautiful fall eye looks. PLUS is smells like peaches!! This is a must have 🙂

Pumpkin Spice Creamer
If you know me at all, you probably could have guessed that I’d have this on the list. I will say that it has to be the Coffee Mate kind to actually be good (I’m sure others are good too). This one has my absolute favorite taste. Some of the other brands leave a little weird aftertaste and this one is good all around. Also fun fact, if you use a milk frother with this for about 45 seconds it totally changes the flavor and it’s amaaazzingg (even my husband likes it and he’s not big on sweeter things).

Brown Booties
I got these on sale during the Nordstrom Anniversary sale but honestly now that I’ve worn them, I would buy them full price too. These are hands down some of the comfiest booties I’ve ever worn and are so stylish and go with almost anything. They have the perfect heel height and are chunky heel which makes them easier to walk in. I’ve already worn then a million times and absolutely love them.

Camel Teddy Bear Coat
These are popping up all over this year, but this one is an amazon fashion find! I’ve been living for all the deals I can snag from amazon instead of paying an arm and a leg for the same things. This one my bestie got for my birthday this year and thank GOD she did. This coat is SO cozy and warm I could sleep in it. It’s another staple for me this fall and winter.

Phone Stand
I wish I would have purchased one of these the first time I saw it. This has absolutely changed my life (dramatic I know). I keep this one on my desk at work (at home) and it keeps me from keeping my neck bent downwards all day and allows me to actually stay off of my phone more. It’s also great for Facetime or for recording videos because it’s adjustable and I can tilt it to the perfect height and have hands free! It’s also an excellent price for such high quality.

Spanx Leggings
I shared about these when I bought stuff from the Nordstrom sale but they are worth mentioning here as well. We recently went on a camping trip and I wore these every single day. They not only are spanx, which means they keep you held in all the right places, they also are very warm! For sure recommend you get a pair of these or something similar since these are little on the pricey side.

Jogger Sets
This is the comfiest and coziest jogger set ever. It’s more on the thin side which ironically lends itself to being better for layering. I’ve worn this set a bunch of different ways with a lot of different layers and it’s just so perfect.

Multi-Vitamin
We’ve been using these for a little over a month now and have really liked them. There’s a ton of health benefits of taking a multi-vitamin and to be real with you, with COVID still everywhere, we can all use the some extra health benefits. These are a good size compared to a lot of others I’ve had in the past. I do recommend taking them with food.

Graphic Tees
The link is to some of my absolute favorite graphic tee’s lately. I’ve done a lot of searching for the perfect oversized tee’s that don’t make you look too boxy but also are just comfy and perfect for layering in the fall months. Plus graphic tee’s never go out of style and can be worn a million different ways.

That’s a wrap for October Favorites! Tag me on Instagram in any goodies you purchase so I can hype you up 🙂 @cam_bam_

XOXO,
Camille

How To Be Better Organized

This might be one of my top five favorite topics. Organization is something that I’ve long time worked on and (not) surprisingly have still not perfected haha. Nonetheless here are some of my favorite tips and tricks at being organized and staying that way.

Labels
I like to be honest with you guys so I have to say, I definitely don’t have everything labeled in my house but I do have somethings, that majorly help keep me and my husband together. Labeling helps make sure that you know where things are at almost all times along with helping keep others on track for where things should go. I even suggest labeling a junk area if you have one. My husband and I don’t have ours labeled but we do both know exactly where it is haha and that’s what matters here.

Clear Bins
Another great way to avoid frustration and clutter is to use clear bins. This might even keep you from having to label everything since you can see right into them. The important part here is to still make sure you’re grouping like items. For example, if using clear bins in your pantry make sure you put together all of the spices, all of the starches, all of the canned items etc… you don’t want to just throw things in a bin because it’s clear.

Map Out the House
One of the things I did when I was first moving into the house was figure out a purpose for everything. Much like financial gurus tell you to do with your money, I’m telling you to do with your space. Even if a space is to be kept clear and with nothing in it, that should be part of the plan. Each room, closet, drawer and cabinet should have an intended purpose. If you can find a copy of your house plan that makes this much easier but if not, just draw one as best you can and go from there. Give each area in your house a designated purpose.

Flow With The Seasons
This one probably applies to most people already because most of us do “spring cleaning” and a little in the fall but it’s still worth mentioning. Staying organized is a little more complicated than cleaning in my opinion. When the seasons change and I’m switching out my summer closet to my fall/winter closet, I always make a point to reorganize the main areas in my house. My front closet is cleaned out and reset with winter jackets and shoes and my kitchen appliances are switched out ( I make a lot more crock pot recipes in the fall so I put it somewhere more accessible) and obviously my closet is cleaned out and refreshed. Like I mentioned, put items that you’ll use more in one season in a place that’s easier to find and put away items that you don’t use as much.

Keep a record
Much like labeling and mapping, it’s important to put things in a place that they won’t move from then right that down somewhere. For me it’s an electronic copy of what all is in our attic or under the house and in our storage room. This helps me quickly locate things if we’re looking for something that we can’t find anywhere else. Keeping a notebook or an electronic copy that is accessible to your entire family also cuts down on those phone calls asking where last years pajamas are that no one can find 😉

Stick to Your Routine
I think the hardest part about being and staying organized is picking places for things to go and then sticking to it. Part of why I’m still mastering the art of being organized is because I decide that something “makes more sense” to go somewhere else and the next time I’m looking for it I’ve totally forgotten that I moved it. The key here is taking a little time to decide where things belong and where they are going to make the most sense for you and your family and then sticking to that spot.

Don’t Over Clutter
Basically, don’t buy things you don’t need! This is so much easier said than done, trust me. Keeping your house organized is the first step to a LOT of things including organization in other areas of your life. One of the biggest steps to that is to make sure that you’re not cluttering up spaces and making it impossible to categorize areas. Believe me when I say that this is incredibly challenging for me, but it’s so good for you. Our brains actually don’t do well when they’re over stimulated and walking into a closet full of 60 pair of shoes lying around is just going to overwhelm you. If you’re like me, you’ve started to clean up and organize an area of your house a million times and just get overwhelmed and stop.

Tips and Tricks To Organization

Move things out
Like I said above, having TOO much stuff can be the biggest adversary to organization. If you’re trying to clean out and organize your kitchen, move every single thing out and into another area of the house.

Organize and Compartmentalize
Now it’s time to start putting like items together. This is always the kind of fun part for me. It’s the chance to make this process more like a game and put like things together.

Get Rid of Stuff
Again, one of the hardest parts for me is getting rid of items. But make a pile for keep, donate and trash and then fill each area up.

Decide their New Home
Now it’s time to decide what is going where and start moving things back into their new home.

EASY AS THAT! (insert sarcastic laugh). No honestly this is a lifelong process and one that has to be done continuously. You don’t just organize your home one time and then you’re done. As we grow and change, our needs wants and interest do to. That puffy sleeved sweater that I was obsessed with 5 years ago? Yeah she’s gone. I wear more colors than I use to so a lot of my black clothing has been given away too.

Make this process fun for YOU. Figure out the method that works best for you and your family and then go from there. This is not one size fits all nor does it have to be the way I’ve listed above. Just make sure that you’re doing what works best for you.

Let me know your favorite ways to organize below!

XOXO,
Camille

How To Maintain Mental Health As A Christian

As usual I like to start off with a disclaimer that most all of my blogs are opinion based and not from a professional opinion. I’m almost always speaking from experience I’ve have in life and want to share my experiences with you. That includes my battle, trials and healing from mental illness.

I will not make this an entire article about my struggles with mental health, rather an article about how I think you and I can both depend fully on our heavenly father to guide us, walk with us and eventually heal us of any type of struggle we have.

You may be like me and have bouts of depression and anxiety. Perhaps you were diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis like PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, ADHD, ADD or something more like an addiction. All of these are different types of mental health issues and we HAVE to, as Christians, be more aware that people all around us are struggling in all types of ways.

So what does the Bible have to say about mental illness and mental health?

Most versus that you or I would be drawn to share the common theme that God doesn’t want us to be fearful or afraid, anxious, worried, depressed or anything else but full of joy and hope and faith (Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 40:31, John 16:33, 2 Timothy 1:7) . The Bible makes the story of Jesus’ ministry all about how he healed everyone from their different afflictions, so we can assume this applies to mental illnesses as well. The Bible also gives us daily affirmations and mantras that we can repeat and pray over and over until we’re blue in the face, but when you’ve struggled with mental illness the way I have, in all honesty that sometimes just doesn’t feel like enough.

So what can be done?

A quick start list for the desperate (trust me we’ve all been there):

  • Go for a walk
  • Call a friend who always makes you laugh
  • Turn on some music that always makes you want to dance a little
  • Practice one of your hobbies but make sure it’s something you’re only doing for fun
  • Make yourself a really nice meal and then take your time enjoying it
  • Get some rest. Could be a nap or could be just allowing yourself a moment to sit down and breath
  • Create a vision board of what you’d like to see yourself accomplish in the next 1, 5 or even 10 years or beyond

A more in depth list of what can be done

Prayer
I know that’s probably the last thing anyone wants to hear as an answer but the truth is, prayer is all we have. Prayer is our most powerful weapon. Prayer is the one thing in this life that no one can take away from us. Prayer is what the Lord responds to over and over again in every story of the Bible.

Now prayer looks different for different people in different circumstances. Some pray out loud, others quietly in their mind, others in a small cry for help like “Lord help me” and other times your prayer may just be you sitting in a room alone and crying. Friend, please pray. However it looks for you, please don’t let the enemy trick you into being silent. Don’t think for a moment that your Father doesn’t hear you and love you.

I’ve lost count of the many restless nights of just crying in bed, asking God to take away my depression. Those nights were my prayer, even if it wasn’t eloquent and full of biblical words. God heard me. And God hears you.

Read the Bible
You HAVE to keep your mind strong by filling it with the right content. Our brains need to be stimulated in order to keep our synapses firing and to keep our brains active. So why not use that as a reason to fill your mind with good instead of the junk that the world tries to push into in. Not saying that all other forms of entertainment or reading are junk, but for a person battling any type of mental health, you NEED that positivity. Keeping focused on God and His word, the living word, keeps you constantly reminded of who God is and all that He has and will do for you.

Serve Others
In addition to keeping focused on God, keeping focused on others helps keep your mind off of you. It sounds weird but the truth is, sometimes when we see other people’s problems it helps make ours so much smaller. I remember the first time one of my best friends told me about HER depression and anxiety and just how low she had gotten. I felt horrible for even saying I had depression. Another example is all the times I’ve served in my churches. There’s something that feels so good about being involved in your church and serving God and other people, and that feeling can help aide in your healing. God made us to be in community with people, and not to do life alone. When we surround ourselves with other believers, we surround ourselves with the Love of Jesus, and that alone can lift anyone’s spirit.

Be Honest
This might be harder than anything else on this list. I denied that I had depression for about 15 years until I couldn’t hide it any longer. I had surrounded myself with people who knew me better than I realized and when they raised concern about some of my behavior, I knew it was time to tell them the truth. THANK GOD that I did. Even talking to my friends, family and a therapist eventually saved my life. The weight that was lifted off of me when I finally told the truth was immense. Friend, find someone, even me if you’d like, to talk to about how you feel. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out story but it does need to be honest and real. Tell someone, anyone. If you don’t think you have a person that you can be real with in your life, pray that God will send you someone.

List it out
If you’ve followed me for two seconds you probably already know that I have a list for everything. You better believe that means mental health stuff too. This list is one that includes all of my blessings. It use to be something I had to do every single day just to get to the next one. I was so depressed that I couldn’t see ANY good thing in life, so some days my only blessing was something like this:
Thanks for my dog
Thanks for water

These days I don’t have to make a blessings list as often because I include my thankfulness in my daily prayer and I’ve learned to keep my blessings at the forefront of my mind. When I was healed of my depression, it was like my eyes were opened to how beautiful my life was and had always been. Things I never noticed before became things I was the most grateful for.

Start making your list, even if it’s one item a day and I promise your entire mood will shift when you do.

Get Rid of Things
Get rid of the relationships that are the most toxic. Even if that means un-following your so called friend who makes you feel bad about yourself. Even if that means not calling your mom for a month while you heal because she always makes you feel worse. De-clutter your space where you live and keep things around that bring you joy. This is a hard one too, but to be honest it’s one of the more important ones.

Have you ever learned about how gardening works? You have to prune certain plants back in order to help them grow more. You’re literally almost killing them in some cases, so they can bounce back even more plentiful and beautiful. You have to do that with your life too. You have to prune (cut away) all of the things that are holding you back. It’s going to hurt like actual hell in some cases. Then you’ll look back in 1, 5, 10, 15 years and see just how necessary it was to make your life better.

For me it’s been relationships, a church, clothes, social media accounts, books, my hair (long story but basically my pride was wrapped up in my appearance for a long time) and so much more. Now I look back at all of those things and WOW, my life is more glorious than ever before. It hurt me so badly I thought I would die for a few of those things, but obviously it didn’t and now I’m better off than I ever was before because I allowed God to prune out what didn’t need to be there any longer.

Don’t Be Afraid of Medication and Therapy
I’m so glad to say that today we live in a world that more focused on mental health and the stigma of therapy and medication is going away little by little every day. Treatments are covered by most health insurance, medication costs are lower and overall there are more people armed with knowledge of what mental illness looks like in the ones they love. My friend, it’s okay if you need extra help. Like I said in the beginning, there have been times that praying and reading the Bible just haven’t been enough for me. I needed medication and therapy for years to help me get to a place where I was just “okay”. You can find healing even in medication and trust that God can and will use it for your benefit.

If you’ve made it this far, either you’re intrigued or you’re desperate like I have been to find healing. My friend I’m praying for you. Please know that you’re loved and that you WILL be healed, either in this life or in the next.

Reach out to me if you have questions, concerns, want to know more about my mental health story or just want to talk. I’m here but God is here first.

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XOXO,
Camille